You / Selfish

TRIVIA | Lacrosse & Legacy

Start here. Answer at the bottom.

He starred at UMBC — not the most decorated program in Division I lacrosse, which made everything he built there more impressive. He won America East Player of the Year twice. He was a two-time All-American. When he entered the professional game he did not slow down. He led his team in goals, assists, and total points in one of the most dominant individual seasons in MLL history and was named the league's Most Valuable Player. Who is he — and what year did he win the MVP?

FIELD REPORT | The Label Is Not The Engine

Everyone is chasing a team.

The local team. The regional team. The national team. Say it out loud and it sounds like the whole point — make the roster, get the jersey, wear the letters.

And none of that is wrong. Those things are worth chasing. But here is the part that gets confused constantly at every level of this game — the team is the label. The love of the game is the engine. Confuse the two and the moment the label disappears — you get cut, you get passed over, your name is not on the roster — the engine goes with it. Keep them separate and the label becomes information about where you are right now. Not who you are.

The training nobody sees. What is actually driving you. How deep the determination runs. Those things are upstream of every jersey, every award, every team you will ever make. The label is downstream of all of it.

Here is the question worth sitting with this week — not the comfortable version, the honest one.

What is your goal with the sport — not the placement, the sport itself? What gives you the energy to show up and train through all of it — through the losses, the failures, the good days, the days you get benched, the days you know you should still be out there and you are not?

If the answer is the jersey — the engine is fragile. If the answer is something older and quieter than the jersey — that engine runs for a long time.

MINDSET OS | Act. Assess. Act Again.

Denzel Washington said something that has stayed with me.

"The most selfish thing you can do in this world is help someone else."

Because of the joy it brings. Because of what it does to you from the inside when you give something real to another person without keeping a receipt. That internal shift — the one that comes from genuine service — is not available through any other mechanism. You cannot manufacture it. You cannot optimize your way to it. You just have to do the thing.

Look internal. Who is staring back at you right now? Not the version you perform for other people. The real one — the one that exists in the quiet before the day starts, before anyone confirms or challenges who you think you are.

Codify the path you are on. Or change directions. But keep moving through this world with a tough chin and a beautiful soul.

Here is where that becomes practical on the field.

The loop is simple. Act. Assess. Act again. Not a philosophy — a daily operating mechanism. The coach likes what you are doing or does not. You get more time or your time diminishes. That feedback — some of it landing right, some of it stinging — is the assess phase. How fast you can take it in without letting it curdle into I am not good enough and get back to training — that gap is the tell.

It is not talent that shows up there. It is love for the game put to the test. The player who moves fastest from start to stop to start again is not the one who cares less about the outcome. It is the one whose worth was never tied to the outcome to begin with.

I do not believe in long-term weakness or fear. Feeling weak, feeling afraid — that is going to happen. It has happened to me more times than I will ever write about in a single letter. The work is not making it never arrive. It is not letting it take a permanent seat. You let it visit. You do not let it move in.

Elementary school. A cross-country race. I ran the entire thing in first place. There was a kid behind me the whole way — never once made it look like he was pushing, no surge, no sign he had more in the tank. I held my position all the way to the final stretch. Then in the last few seconds before the line he blew past me. I tried to hold him off. Could not. It happened that fast.

I was too young for it to wreck me — mostly it was just a shock, how quietly it all unfolded until it was not quiet at all. But the lesson stuck. There is always another perspective on the competition, another strategy, another gear somebody is holding in reserve that you cannot see. The race, the match, the meet — it is not over until the whistle actually sounds. Holding a lead is not the same as finishing.

Be selfish. Help someone. Look internal. Keep moving.

That is the whole letter.

TRIVIA ANSWER | Lacrosse & Legacy

Brendan Mundorf. Two-time America East Player of the Year at UMBC — 2005 and 2006. Two-time Division I All-American. 21st overall pick in the 2006 MLL Draft. In 2012 he led the Denver Outlaws with 32 goals and 27 assists for 59 total points and was named the MLL Season Most Valuable Player. A player who built everything at a program that was not supposed to produce what he produced — and then went into the professional game and did it again.

The label was never the engine. That is exactly the point.

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About the Author

Kyle Smedley is the founder of Harbor Lane Holdings, building at the intersection of sport, people, and capital.

Career stops include Events.com, Tourmaline Builders, Lombardi Contracting Corporation, and DPR Construction. Today he leads Atticus Lacrosse Company, working alongside Mad Dog Lacrosse and Ravenscroft School, and Harbor Lane Company, operating across real estate, private equity, and talent placement.

Reach out directly: [email protected]

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